Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Randomize
