can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
