yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
