ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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