I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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