is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
