shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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