Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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