i wish there were pregnant emoticons
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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