He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
