she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
