next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize