i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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