What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
