I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
