you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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