found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
