This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
