jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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