Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize