I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
is wine microwaveable?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
