i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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