Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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