she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
