Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
