I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
