I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
worst night to have a conscience
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
