I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
