Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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