he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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