So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
