doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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