It's like a parade of train wrecks.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
it's like iHOP with fire
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
