I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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