It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
