Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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