I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Randomize
