i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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