I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
