I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
