Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
