Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
