I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
