you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
