i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
