So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
