We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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