Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
