Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
