He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
