I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Sext me about skeletons
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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