We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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