Are we in a gay sports bar?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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