I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
