so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
