i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
