I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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