you win again, gameday.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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