Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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