I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
