Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
