I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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